LESSONS IN SAYING NO
7 WAYS TO SAY ‘NO’ WHICH CAN LEAD TO A LOT MORE ‘YES’
Like most of us, September is a time of year when we think about new beginnings. I consider it to be my beginning of the year from a work point of view as I’m busy with new clients coming on board, and my existing clients come back from summer holidays with the tasks we set over the summer to review. Energetically, I find myself at the beginning of a new year of business and personal life strategy, in which I bring in the intention for what I wish to create over the next 12 months. The summer months too, are a great time to rest, rejuvenate and take stock on life.
Every August I do an annual review of just where I’m at in my business and personal life, and get super-clear on what I want to keep, and what I want to move away from. Then I start a clean-up process. This is all about getting clear on intention vs. obligation. If what I put myself to feels like intention; it stays. If it feels like obligation; then it goes. And it starts by saying ‘No, this no longer works for me.’
‘No’ is such a simple, yet powerful word. And one we can all too often be afraid of. It’s time for us to get brave, and practice limbering up our ‘no’ muscle. And why? Well, here’s 7 reasons why ‘No’ is the best word in life’s dictionary.
NO is a decluttering process
More no in your life is a cleansing process. We declutter our homes and the contents which take up too much space. Or we clear out wardrobes and drawers for clothes that don’t fit, or don’t suit who we are any more. It’s totally viable, and completely normal to do the same with obligations which are no longer fit for purpose.
NO breeds creativity
Think about all of the things you feel like you ‘should’ be doing. Obligation is at play here, and that can lead to stagnation and the idea of perfectionism to creep in. All creativity killers. Here’s the thing; no one is obliged to anything. No, seriously, you’re not. Get rid of the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘musts’ and you have space to get more creative with your options and choices.
NO is a filtration system
‘No’ is a cleansing process. ‘No’ allows you to filter out the things that simply aren’t working for you, leaving more room for healthier options in mind, body and soul. Think of it like kombucha for your life.
NO creates space
Removing one ‘no’ per day, or even one per week, creates options for you to have more space. This simple fact has been a game changer for me in recent months. Friday’s are my space day for me to do whatever I choose, as long as it’s something that fills, or provides rest, for my soul. This much-needed space breeds ideas, and inspiration from all angles. Because here’s the truth: the best work comes to us when we’re in receive rather than push mode.
NO creates new beginnings
Being on the end of duty can often mean we get stuck in dull routines that leave us feeling trapped on a constant rat run… reliving Groundhog Day over and over and over. This is often when clients come to me, feeling stuck in a rut, unmotivated. Fear and anxiety creep in, and doubt is on constant replay.
When we start removing some of the tarnished filter that’s settled a thick layer over their lives, we start allowing the colour of new beginnings to shine through. With it comes excitement, a chance to stretch in all directions, and a much-needed motivational kick up the butt!
NO means more yes
Saying ‘no’ means saying ‘yes’ to more of the good stuff.
Yes to more fun.
Yes to more adventure.
Yes to more creativity.
Yes to more of who you really are.
That’s a big ‘hell yeah’ from me!
NO breeds freedom
Just imagine if you will what life would be like if you were to take some of that weight off your shoulders. What would it look like if you have more time and space just for you? Hmmm, what would you be able to say to yourself when you can do the things you desire to do? Yes, imagine it… Now, get to saying ‘No’ and start making your freedom happen.
With all of this in mind, I’ve done a ‘no’ stock-check and I am closing the doors on a few things business wise to make space for the year ahead, which includes some of the events I run, one of which being Making Positive Changes in Brighton.
Over the last 3 years, I have welcomed many special guests, such as Louise Androlia, Kat Williams from Rock N Roll Bride, Sofia St Villier, and hosted workshops on Rocking Confidence, Mandala Meditation, Quitting Comparisons, and so much more.
It leaves me to say a big thank you to the hundreds of you who’ve attended Making Positive Changes; both in London and Brighton over the past 3 years. Being part of a community never ends, and you have all filled my soul with your love and light.
I will be co-hosting the last ever Making Positive Changes in Brighton on the evening of Thursday 28th September where we will be celebrating Sufi poet and mystic Rumi’s birthday with conversation and live poetry reading from word witch and creatrix Cassy Ede.